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 That Leona was a looker and the crown would have been hers, too; if only she had said "World Peace" instead of "Fashion First". $3.95 |  Hey, you were there that night. Did you get his last name? $3.95 |  Now remember kids… No running, no diving, and no salt on my margaritas. $3.95 |
 You make me want to rip my clothes off. Or am I just having hot flashes? $3.50 |  Blank $2.95 | |
 Now be a dear and fetch mommy her flask. $2.50 |  For the life of me, I don't know how I got that yeast infection. I was in and out of that bakery in less than a minute. $3.95 | |
 It was nearly impossible to tell the girls apart. Fortunately, one picked her let and the other picked her right. $3.95 |  Our next contestant in the swimsuit competition is Mr. Tennessee; Herb Odum. Herb enjoys hand puppets, water aerobics, rabbit hunting, and cross stich. Herb was also voted this year's Mr. Congeniality. $3.96 | |
 Blank $2.95 |  Don’t blame me Wanda! I specifically told you it took "D" Size batteries and not to use it in the bathtub. $3.95 |  Remember when you were young and gay. Well, thank goodness you're still gay. $2.50 |
 This was the house i grew up in. Not much, but it sure beat the hell out of that piece of shit trailer park you came from. $3.95 |  OUTSIDE: PINK SUMMER DRESS ITH RUFFLES AND A HITE SATIN SASH: $200.00 pERKY STRAW HAT WITH FLOWERS: $125.00... INSIDE: AN AFTERNOON WITH A FINE STALLION: PRICELESS! Artist: Peter J. Ketchum $2.75 |  …and bless Mommy and Daddy, and crazy Aunt Ruby and all her kitties, and the morons in the trailer next door. Amen. $3.95 |
 What a wonderful miracle if only we could look through each other's eyes for an instant. $2.95 |  Outside: Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and giving the Viagra to the cats. Hope you're up for another birthday! $3.50 | |
 Happy Birthday! Come on in! I'm sorry, but Robert's got diarrhea and the kids both have lice, so... it's just going to be us. I hope you're hungry! $3.95 | ||
 Blank $2.95 |  Listen here you flat chested, broad assed, penciled-in eye browed, tupperware snatchin' wench! Give me back my deviled egg carrier. $3.95 | |
 If there is a God, please let this guy be my ob/gyn $3.95 |  I don't usually drink while I fish. I just drink. $3.95 | |
 Good friends are like starts. you don't always see them, but you know they're always there! $3.50 |  It takes a cocktail to raise a village. $3.95 | |
 Mother of Kid. Grandmother of twelve. Drunk by twelve. $3.95 | ||
 We are friends for life. When we're together the years fall away. Isn't that what matters? To have someone who can remember with you? To have someone who remembers how far you've come? $2.95 |  Outside: Her hairdo was her chaperone. Inside Reads: How do you DO? $4.50 |  Drinks well with others. $3.95 |
 Liquor cabinet empty? Take a hint for Eloise… About one hour before your next party, call everyone on your guest list and tell them you're running low on alcohol. $3.95 |  Oops! Wardrobe malfunction. Bad Days happen. Hope you come through with flying colors. $3.50 |  You know i'm not wearing any underwear. $3.95 |
 Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to North Carolina. Please return your hair to its full, upright position. $3.95 |  I ain't nobody. I ain't from nothing. But I'm sure as hell better than these people. $3.95 | |
 In those days, we finally chose to walk like giants & hold the world in arms grown strong with love & there may be many things we forget in the days to come, but this will not be one of them. $2.75 |  The act of Love transcends thought, transcends Words. it is a daring Plnge into the dancing Waters of Life. $2.95 | |
 Ah, how good it feels: the hand of an old hand. $2.75 |  The gals were left alone whilst Gary and Ronnie went to the boat show. They loved their husbands.. And everyone else's too, for they were whores. $3.95 | |
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 I see us being friends forever. $2.99 |  …And they say the hearing is the first to go! Go for it on your birthday! $2.99 |  Does this outfit make my ass look big? $2.99 |
 We're in a league of our own! $2.99 |  Who finds a faithful friend, finds a treasure. $2.99 |  It's your birthday. Be bad. Be very bad. $2.99 |
 I've got everything I always had. Only it's six inches lower. Whatever it is, enjoy it. $2.99 |  Kiss! Kiss! Happy Birthday! $2.99 |  It's been over 3 months. Almost 2 years. Maybe once a decade, if that. $2.99 |
 Kent is now eleven and still wets the bed. Danny turns eight in January and is failing remedial math class. Timmy, our six year old, only answers to "Jessica." $3.95 |  Apparently it's a two-for-one down at the "rope 'n ride". Happy Birthday. $3.95 | |
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